When I became aware of this cults existence and the tactics used by Reniere, I found myself astonished by the similarities between it, and the high control group I extricated myself from. 

There were many times I wanted to leave, but I had no support to do so, much like leaving a toxic abusive relationship.  I had a chaotic abusive home life, was being systematically broken down in this group, and was programmed to believe that the only salvation from it all was to fall back upon the “leader”- who purported himself a “healer”, the only one who could fix all that was broken within me.  When I said I wanted to leave, language designed to cause an activation of my greatest fears was covertly weaponized, getting me to return to a place of submission, accepting punishment and further abuse.

My home life while different, was not any better and he knew based on past history that I was attempting to leave.

 I was desperate to find freedom and to become the best version of me.

I was vulnerable- making me the perfect target.

It has been 5 years since my last face to face interaction with the ”leader”.  In that time I have focused on my children and  healing myself.  I participated in 4 years of intense trauma therapy, which was life changing.  As most know, good therapy is meant to develop and hone skills that can be carried throughout life, giving you the ability to implement them in incredibly difficult situations while maintaining good mental health.  Therapy is incredibly helpful but it is not meant to last forever, for most people. You should come out of therapy better equipped to handle that which previously could have taken you down - also knowing it

is safe to ask for help when you need it.  

Sometimes the act that brings the most healing and is the most therapeutic, is leaving environments of abuse.  
Today, I paint, write, have true faith, and love authentically.  I take care of my kiddos, I have a job that has transformed my life, and I am content - even in the midst of struggle.  

You do not have to remain in situations of abuse - there is a way out.

You are not alone.

Be love, for others and also for yourself.

🙏❤️🙏